film the world before it happens

I hate being so insignificant

2009-02-07T18:11:00.000-08:00

before you think that this is another insignificant emo-post, please don't. i'm just a poor little match girl from oman who no one thinks that i'm significant enough to talk to me, except to ask me, "are you china?" seriously. i can't believe that i paid so much to be insignificant to people. i could've used that money to go to fall out boy's concert, mosh pit, and even buy the hoodie, clandestine industries.

YOU BOUGHT YOUR FOB TICKETS ALREADY YOU USELESS INFIDEL!!!

that was feeeeooohhhhnnnna. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE. sorry, inside joke. anyway. i'm doing physics data analysis questions because I'M SO DAMN BORED. damn damn damn.

shall go to fb now.

how can you be so heartless?

2009-02-07T01:06:00.000-08:00

There must be a very compelling reason for me to be posting anything, and I must say, stupid debates do that. I'm in this cold lecture room (theatre?) and listening to the delegate of Botswana arguing for his working paper. Okay, their. Anyway, NEC is so cool. That's Nanyang Executive Centre is so damn cool, but I have a stupid physics mechanics lecture test on Monday, Fall Out Boy concert on Tuesday, vectors assignment due on Wednesday. Oh shit, there's still KI proposal. Damn. I forgot about the damn thing totally.

Now, let's talk about the FOB concert. Yours truly happen to lose the damn tickets. Which idiot who took that pair of tickets will get it from me, I swear. Okay, to quote my Facebook profile, I have the intention to kill. Just the intention only.

Descending, I'm spinning
Lost all defense
How could you swallow me again?

That's all, I supposed. Shall update again, later.

if i have one more day

2008-10-29T21:05:00.000-07:00

My one and lonely.

hey moon.

2008-10-28T22:17:00.000-07:00

i wish i could be a take a rocket to the moon and stop caring.

dear friends (if you think you are) don't you think that the school is so draining? it sucks every single drop of energy out of you and then you still need to work. this is the first time i really don't enjoy school. i used to. even if schoolwork sucks.

i love how the way things can change, but then it feels like all the same again. it's halloween on friday, and i think i still can think quite positively about it. it too shall pass.

like pallis, brother, you're short-sighted and starry-eyed. you're not the chosen one.

just undergoing another stage in life where i felt like a sockpuppet.

fiona

2008-10-27T19:45:00.000-07:00

slide headfirst into... what?

2008-10-14T06:50:00.000-07:00

i'm so... not worried. yeah right.

i don't just want to be someone else. i want to be one of those ONES. raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses. across the universe i can't believe this is the last thing on my mind.

there's no structure. i don't feel right at all.

dance. come on, bring on the fire, oh darling.

i love you.

how i could just kill a man

2008-10-13T07:13:00.000-07:00

do you miss the way we can talk about anything under the sun, with no censors behind our heels? where we would run and run but still catch our breaths, because we're in sync with our hearts and minds? you can't understand now, but neither would i, because we've lost it forever. we need to talk, but that's so cliched. perhaps we really need to talk but we wouldn't catch up anymore. i'm guilty as charged, but i like to think that the problem is with you, not me. it's him, not me.

don't comfort me, because i'm calmer than the storm. i can take it, because i can't take it any further than us. as soon as this ends i would make you feel smaller. so you would stop messing with my head, my head, my head.

i will do it. because i can do it.

to-do list:
register for SATs.
come up with topics for KI IS
pee double you. EFFING IDIOT.
and then... life.

so, keep your love locked down

2008-10-06T04:38:00.000-07:00

there're many things that i hate in this world, but not excluding:

01. don't you just hate it when you're sitting on a bus, and some idiot (not even like heavy) come and POMP on the seat and you seemed to fly ten metres up the bus? dude, people, you're not elephants. can't you just tread lightly?

02. i really hate those east asians. 'nuff said. cue to korean missionary incident. OH MY GAWD DUDE WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? thank goodness brendon is not a missionary, ah, i love him for that.

03. oh, i hate wireless.

04. AND F-ING PEE-DOUBLE-EWE. It's double-UGH.

05. and where're the lyrics to the exit? I WANT.

06. AND JOSIE NG AND CECILINA ZHANG, STOP WASTING MY PHONE BILL. WHATEVER.

07. go join WLF on Facebook. i love you for that.

08. ROCK BAND LIVE TOUR! oh, killsmedead.

me, then, durden.

2008-10-01T19:38:00.001-07:00

i have no more qualms.

i don't care.

but i'd wish that school would end earlier. so i can do whatever i want.

i'm flying soon, moreover.

go check out forgive durden's razia's shadow.

2008-08-27T06:41:00.000-07:00

It's my blog, so I will decide the number of times I will update. Who the hell is important to decide when and what I will do? Damn you, really.

My heart is the worst kind of weapon. And if there is a last place where you'll look, it would be the last good thing you can ever see, my dear.

Try me, hard, and I say goodbye to you, ignorance, and again, film it.

Oh.

Perhaps.

For us, for the future.

2008-08-27T05:18:00.000-07:00

Sometimes betterment just means more refined mayhem. Sometimes we want to sit in the audience and watch you on the stage.

From one thing to another, but we can't define what is "thing". Try it again, and again, and we find myself at the end of a circular fork in the road. (Does that even exist?) The road less travelled... But are we prepared for it? The eventual.

Oh, Humanity. Don't even try to come into my territory. That sublime smell of peaches and a teensy whiff of lavender would prove to be your downfall, if you think that love is the saving grace. You never cease to amuse me.

It has been touching and irritating.

Do you leave footprints? Do you cast any shadows?

Light glints through this facet of fact, and I will sing this last mortal song.

this shall be a long entry.

2008-08-27T02:20:00.000-07:00

1. thanks fiona.

2. i really, really, really, really like the academy is... (that's an eclipse for you.)

3. project work is so horrendous and should be criminally banned. (is that even right?)

4. I HATE, eh, can't say.

5. P1 Singapore is overcrowded.
P2 Killing people reduce the number of people.
C Therefore we should kill people.

ignore my nonsense.

6. i hate chemistry.

7. how about... a stupid joke? i love you, ceteris paribus.

8. i'm panicking over promos.

9. this sucks.

1o. i'm just typing filler content.

11. okay i'll shall shut up.

holy crap

2008-08-02T22:33:00.000-07:00

i was supposed to be there. but i'm not.

so i shall have one last chance to see my future... (who knows what?) live in person. and the glasses possibly killed me dead.

j is going to look for guys for us in england. haha, i want a black hair, bespectacled, maybe blue/brown eyes. haha.

gah so cute.

one and a half more hour before i'm leaving for SINGFEST!!! :D

OH MY GOD... *needs to breathe*

chop chop

2008-08-01T00:21:00.000-07:00

1. Have you ever felt so tired that you just want to sleep and never wake up? Okay, maybe not never wake up, but just sleep... On and on.

2. Do you wish for a way to get rid of irritating people? How I wish I possess such a skill. It will render me powerful enough to run for president, because I would've gotten rid of all the irritating people in the world.

3. Can life be better?

4. Would you want it to be better, in the first place?

5. Do you deserve for it to be better?

6. Are you sure?

7. Why?

2008-07-21T23:12:00.001-07:00

I'm damn fucking angry, and it's because of the stupidity of the human race. Okay, maybe it's not even the human race.

Fine. I stay calm.

2008-07-16T22:56:00.000-07:00

keep me safe inside,
your arms like towers
tower over me.

twenty times in a day i've counted
i could count myself lucky
bless.

i can try.
try.

2008-07-15T22:24:00.000-07:00

1, too many consolidation lectures
2, project work really sucks
3, life sucks
4, i'm depressed.
5, bridge is fun.

love me, death

2008-07-08T21:11:00.000-07:00

somehow everything's gonna fall. the culmination of results. things. life. oh wait, there's actually a bright side. how about the fact that panic at the disco is coming to singapore, and I'M NOT GOING. hang on, i chose to make that decision myself.

now how do i feel about common tests? how about the fact that perhaps i totally deserve it. but still, i guess it's called retribution. karma's a bitch, totally.

anyhow, i totally went crazy with a capital C and bought viva la vida and dreaming out loud. hahaha, i can't believe i'm doing that, but actually i can predict myself doing such impulsive things. and i totally didn't get the cab's new album. seriously. who's first track has panic at the disco in it, as usual.

okay, i would not talk about panic at the disco.

leena's sitting next to me and trying to stare at the number pattern question vidhya came up with. oh, so interesting. okay, now she says that she's not capable of staring. so she's just engaging her optic nerve and directing her eyeball towards the direction of the screen. or, in her words, "towards attractive moi". oh hang on, she also said, "detect my sarcastic undertone."

i don't really like french, actually. i'm in love with germans.

OH OH OH there was a damn cool thing that happen in the canteen today. okay, not very cool, but still rather interesting. glad that i came to school today.

okay, vidhya just told me that she didn't have the answer to the number pattern question. hahahahahahaha. oh well i'm not going to waste my time on it, then.

viva la vida, strawberry swing.

drink down that gin and kerosene

2008-06-13T23:07:00.000-07:00

yesterday was so freaking retarded. jasper tan yu xuan is possibly the lamest person in the world, after aaron and weijie, of course. hahaha. i've never laughed so much before,anyway. and ade and i agreed that we don't need conditioning anymore, just call kengyang: "hello, are you organizing another gym session?hahaha." we practically laughed until our stomach hurts. lol. seriously!

well. it was funny. then we went to marina square for dinner. can you believe this? hahaha. well, it was fun.

i should be going, anyway. just wanted to blog like a loser.

"i have a dream"

2008-06-12T05:05:00.000-07:00

well first i was not allowed to go out, then second i found a way out, third i went back to school today. i seriously tried to mug, but it was more of let's teach vanessa how to do physics so my status is elevated to physics hero(ine). honestly. then sihui and i gossiped in sumo house (hoho) and went to ntuc. seriously. i got ribena! yay. and portugal won, once again, but i didn't catch the swiss match.

oh. and they told me about ----- that makes me wonder about what was said for him and whether are things still the same. if you're goin', just go...

i guess shit happens.

oh and i found a new university to aim for--oxford! yes i know i'm a little late on the bandwagon, but they offer physics and philosophy! teh awesome. lolz. well, of course there's still my favorite caltech.

okay i shall mug for common tests. srsly.

life sucks.

and facebook is sucking my time.

cecilina zhang, DUDE REPLY MY SMS, noob.

my project work survey. i know.

2008-06-06T21:22:00.000-07:00

Survey

Do you own an Apple product?
a. Yes (please go to question 2)
b. No (please go to question 3)

Which product/(s) do you own?
iPod
iPhone
iMac
MacBook
Peripherals (such as MightyMouse, AirPort)
Apple software (such as Aperture or Final Cut Studio or iTunes)

Would you consider buying an Apple product in the future?
Yes (please go to question 4)
No

If yes, how long in the near future?
Less than 3 months
3 to 6 months
More than 6 months

Have you heard of Steve Jobs?
Yes (Proceed to question 6)
No (Thank you for your time in the surveys. Have a nice day and you really should kill yourself (or I’ll superpoke you) since you don’t know who’s Steve Jobs)

Have you listened to Steve Jobs’ keynotes in MacWorld Expos?
Yes (YES OMG STEVE JOBS ROCKS!)
No, what the heck are you talking about? (Okay, thank you for your time again, I’m going to bite you again.)

What is the main reason that you purchase an Apple product?
Aesthetically pleasing
Functional
User-friendliness
Price

Rank your considerations in purchasing Apple products (with 1 being the most influential and 4 being the least influential).
1.
2.
3.
4.

Thank you for answering our survey. As a bonus gift, if you have answered the survey questions in the other order (i.e. from question 9 to 1), you would get a free iPhone generation 3.0!

Okay, let’s be serious.

Interview Questions

THERE’S NO POINT IN INTERVIEWING PEOPLE.

And.

I’M CHOOSING NOT TO DO PRIMARY RESEARCH.

Go read the task notes. You would know what I mean.

“It is up to you to select and decide on the most appropriate sources of information for your topic.” So obviously we choose not to select and it remains undecided on what source we are going to use. Seriously.

Goodness.

Things to do:
Euro 2008
Singfest 2008
Pray that Panic at the Disco comes to Singapore again. in the near future.

And that our project work is not screwed by the person who thinks that she's a fashion label. Hello? Goodness.

Fiona asks me to stop it. "What?" - She adds on. All teachers are weird. That's what she says, not me.

GAHHHHHHHHHH.

Tell me, seriously, what's the point of having surveys on project work. (And this is a rhetorical question, don't you answer me.) And we have to find a business professor to interview, I think. But I really think that this is ridiculous. Like what the hell..

It's as ridiculous (and I've been re-reading Harry Potter, y'know) as Panic coming to Singfest and stupid Midas Promotions charging it at 200 bucks a seat. I know, there's OneRepublic.... BUT STILL. WHAT THE HECK.

facebook.

2008-05-27T21:33:00.000-07:00

again, add me, please, yeah. hahaha. lol.

chem spa later.

vanessa seah complains that i'm not updating, so boo! hahaha.

WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS

2008-05-22T00:04:00.000-07:00

HELLO.

LADIES AND (gentle)MEN

WE'RE THE CHAMPIONS.

yes, MANCHESTER UNITED is the BEST TEAM in the world (and possibly in history). YES, ALMIGHTY YES!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

YES, even if Cris didn't do what he is supposed to do.

Now I'm going back to my PW classroom and get Fiona's laptop. Sorry, honey.

Haha.

Yay I'm going out with the old gang on Friday! (i.e., tomorrow) That means that I would need to skip some lessons, but in the event that it's my CT's last day, I shan't. Hoho, merry Christmas.

Why am I typing in extremely proper capitalization and all that? Ha.

I guess it's because of my GPP. 14 pages and 2943 words... It's hard to think proper now. iThink, therefore iMac. Haha. Yes, I'm doing on Steve Jobs.

AND OH YES MANCHESTER UNITED IS THE -censored- DOUBLES CHAMPION! HA. you should go to manutd.co.uk and stare at those two trophys.

then again, things have changed for me.

2008-05-20T20:43:00.000-07:00

some random people (namely people from my cca) have complained that they don't understand what i'm writing. well, that's okay, because i don't, too.

supposed you have signed up for something that you possibly have no wish to attend. LIKE WHAT THE BLOODY -censored- OH MY -censored- NO.

DUH. who the hell wants to be burdened with something really unnecessary? HUH? LIKE WHOA. FUCK.

okay, sorry.

i'm currently in school, stuck doing my GPP (and also that the fact that the gate doesn't open until 1) and i'm quite entertained with fiona's VAIO, and since she has the pretty. odd. album, it's quite an enjoyable experience. except, not.

haha. CHAMPS LEAGUE FINALS! WHOO.

sorry, vanessa. i know, i know. i know it's sad, but if i go to hell would you come with me?

the starbucks thing was a mistake, totally. plus there's ERP charges at newton! ha. to ban all the bukit timah schools people from cabbing (while skipping...) down town. oh, and she passes me the ye man nai nai dvd. whoo hoo!!!!!

extremists.

mocha frappe, with banana muffin. it's good for breakfast, i guess, but not for pre-run routine. anyway, there's no routine. we didn't do proper stretching (okay, i didn't) and i'm suffering from like...hamstring torture.

okay.

haha. i'm bored, i want to eat fish & chips. (okay, i totally typed fist at first but thanks to backspace i guess no one will ever know my mistake)

AH I GO NOW LAH.

2008-05-05T00:09:00.000-07:00

fiona says i'm ignoring the class.

oh no. so sad.

okay, i'm doing project work now with fiona and vidhya. we've settled on something about carnival and we are heck-caring.

WHO CARES LAH.

fiona is paranoid.

damn paranoid.

and man u rocks.

okay, that was freaking random. hahaha.

damn freaking pissed off already.

but panic at the disco is coming to singapore on august 3rd! LIKE OMGWHATTHEHELLFINALLY!

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY

hHH.

i mean, haha.

yesterday yitong make me laugh the whole entire walk back to tiff's house lah.
then we laughed like shit. (oh, so stinky) and we eat A LOT.

haha.

some crappy diet restriction, right? lol.

somehow.

2008-04-02T23:10:00.000-07:00

Somehow everything's gonna fall right into place
If we only had a way to make it all fall faster everyday
If only time flew like a dove
Well God, make it fly faster than I'm falling in love

This time we're not giving up Let's make it last forever
Screaming "hallelujah"
We'll make it last forever

Holding onto patience wearing thin
I can't force these eyes to see the end
If only time flew like a dove
We could watch it fly and just keep looking up

This time we're not giving up
Let's make it last forever Screaming "hallelujah"
We'll make it last forever

And we've got time on our hands (We've got time)
Got nothing but time on our hands
Got nothing but, got nothing but (We've got time)
Got nothing but time on our hands

screaming. maybe one day life would take us far, far, far away from this isle of thoughts and unreadable subtleties. changing minds, changing lives. things are shaping up to be pretty odd, i guess. supposed i find myself inside this room one day. are you attempting to come inside? or are you just staring in hoping that one day i would give you a chance to come in?

little deaths in musical beds.

****

we've got a big mess on our hands

2008-04-02T01:48:00.000-07:00

would it get better? looking from the current state of things, it seems to get weirder and weirder. i can't explain it, because i don't even know it myself. let this be a tornado that sweeps everyone away and hopefully the curse would go away. go. go. just go.

i always put myself in destructive situation / i need oxygen

trying is not good enough, don't you think so? sometimes you need to make sure you really do it. it's a ten minutes ride to hell and we would possibly traverse down the spatial timeline sometimes.

sometimes.

might be a worthy fantasy if you can find me that cloud to hide myself.

changes. change one thing, change everything. do you think it's really good enough? do you really thing it's worth it. do you even like it? can you even afford the time? huh? you need to be accountable. love it or leave it, i can do it this way but you can't. maybe you should try using your left hand. or try to connect the dots with your master foot. fail it, again and again.

don't give in, don't give up. but if you just do that, i would perhaps show you what it is like the first time round and perhaps intepret it another way. stay constant? funny you should mention it, because it's unlikely for me to tell you how.

nothing goes like this anymore. nothing rhymes with circus. and,

when it all comes crashing--

i'll be on route 66. so give me a reason to tell. give me maybe a thousand more excuses and i can't proceed on anymore. stop me. it's derailing and on and on and on...

fancy being on the stairs. what if you fall? the piano knows.